Yay! You posted. :D I really like the changes that you made to it.
One thing: Their fall was broken by something that covered, both caught on something that prevented them from falling any further down the shaft.
I think you want either 'something that covered the shaft' or 'Their fall was broken by something that prevented both of them from falling further down the shaft'. Sorry if I missed that in my betaing!
The part with Rodney forgetting his radio is great. :) I love how you integrated it.
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Date: 2007-01-14 04:54 pm (UTC)One thing: Their fall was broken by something that covered, both caught on something that prevented them from falling any further down the shaft.
I think you want either 'something that covered the shaft' or 'Their fall was broken by something that prevented both of them from falling further down the shaft'. Sorry if I missed that in my betaing!
The part with Rodney forgetting his radio is great. :) I love how you integrated it.
Great job!