Yay! You posted. :D I really like the changes that you made to it.

One thing: Their fall was broken by something that covered, both caught on something that prevented them from falling any further down the shaft.

I think you want either 'something that covered the shaft' or 'Their fall was broken by something that prevented both of them from falling further down the shaft'. Sorry if I missed that in my betaing!

The part with Rodney forgetting his radio is great. :) I love how you integrated it.

Great job!